Domestic Violence is Closer than You Think: Be Aware This October
Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post. I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."
Another Disclosure: A bit of graphic wording … this post just got real
In October 1981, the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence observed the first Day of Unity. This was to help connect advocates of battered women across the US to end this senseless violence against women and children. Since then, there have been many activities leading to October 1987’s first Domestic Violence Awareness Month being observed.
Ladies, what are you going to do when your niece tells you she let her boyfriend beat her because she thought that was love? Because she thought her dad, your brother, loved her mother that way?
Men, what are you going to do when your daughter comes home raped, because no didn’t mean no. Ohh, well, remember last week when your boy was saying how he was gonna smash that hoe no matter what she said … and well … you … laughed.
Here is where I’d usually boggle down the facts for you. However, I have other intentions. So read them for yourself here, courtesy of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. Yea, the numbers are frightening.
Let’s get our heads out of TV Land where everyone wants to know what housewife or basketball star’s girlfriend/wife’s face is getting pounded on this week. Today, throughout October, and the rest of our lives, let’s be aware that domestic violence is closer than you think. It’s happening every day to women AND men. Your mother, cousin, neighbor, teacher, grocery store clerk, bank teller, OR GIRLFRIEND that’s telling you how good her man is because he’s buying her Gucci, could be a victim.
Do you know how many times I’ve heard “Well, she must have deserved it” or “I’m not getting into that”? No woman deserves to be beaten upon to the point where she is no longer recognizable.
Now granted, there are some smart-mouthed women out there or women who love pushing buttons (i.e. the I’m going to get in his face and smack the dog sh*it outta him when he gets home). So, ok, you try that, yea you may get that reaction.
BUT, once a man has got a woman off of him; it’s time for him to back down and walk away. Continually hitting a woman… like really? Man up.
And it’s so easy to look from the outside in and just say, “Well, why the hell doesn’t she just leave.”
Well, everyone isn’t as fortunate.
Some women have absolutely NO support. Hello, those Lifetime Movies are real! What do you do when you have no parental or family support? Are you just going to get up and leave a warm home to move into a shelter you aren’t guaranteed to get back into the next day?
What are you going to do for food for your child? No job, no education past high school. Yea, easy from the outside.
And you’ll find that’s why I’m ALWAYS preaching about putting money aside. Yep, HIDE IT. I was a “victim” of verbal abuse, and it quickly was going down the path of physical abuse. Now me, I guess I’m a bit crazy cause I stood up to his 6’ whatever and was NOT going to back down. But, I did put my foot down one morning and said “this will be your last day saying that bullsh*t or eating any of my food”(there’s a story behind that food part). Yes, ladies and gents, he came home to an empty house and at that time I was comfortably stretched out on my couch in my new living room thanking the movers and for them to have a great night.
I wish every victim’s story could turn out that way … but it can’t and won’t.
- Not until we start donating to the cause.
- Not until we start teaching our baby girls they are worth more than a man’s opinion and “love.”
- Not until we start caring and putting our nose in our neighbor’s business (you can call the damn police, you know)
- Not until we volunteer a few hours to man the hotlines when victims are calling and need reassurance
- Not until WE educate ourselves so we can remove ourselves from the situation at hand
Get your PURPLE out (it goes well with pink)
And take a moment to read what my president has to say in the Presidential Proclamation — National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, 2014.
The City of Chicago’s Domestic Violence Help Line:
Phone: 1-877-863-6338
TTY: 1-877-863-6339
For all other locations, dial the national domestic violence hotline at: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
~ Independent, Smart, Diva
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Many who are abused have no support system because their spouse/significant other/whatever isolated them. I don’t understand it, really, but definitely think we should help women (and men) who find themselves in those situations.
And sometimes even the people with the resources to get out just don’t want to. They feel the other person is their everything and they are nothing without them. Women who have 2 and 3 kids wonder about their own self worth and who would want them. But they need to learn to depend upon themselves, love themselves first and not worry about anyone loving them but their children.
This is an important cause that we all need to pay attention to. Majority of people feel as though the victims could have preventing the abuse or just leave. As you pointed out it is not so easy to do so when you do not have the resources or the support. I know from experience how hard it can be to leave an abusive relationship. So many women want to but they just cannot. I also want to add women are not the only victims, men can be victims of domestic violence too.
Yes Victoria, I only briefly mentioned men being the victims, but they are targeted. I know many men being verbally abused due to the situation they are in, for instance having a hard time providing for their family. Sometimes it’s legitimate reasons, other times it’s not. The power role can really knock a person down and keep them on the ground.
Domestic violence impacts more than most realize. It’s not only the victim, but all their friends and family as well.
Yes Scott. It’s hurtful for a person to see this happen to someone they love. Unfortunately, we do live in a world where if we step in, it could backfire on us. Our friends will get upset for “disrupting” their lives.
I had a good friend once who’s boyfriend not only emotionally abused her, but physically abused her too. He was a small man, in many ways. He tried to put me in the middle of it one night – locking us both in a closet. That did not last long. I’ve not been conditioned to think that one human has more rights than another – not man, woman or child.
That’s horrible that you both had to experience that. LOL @ “small man”. To do that, he has a small ego!
You just never know what someone is going through at home.
Yes Amber. Victims of abuse are forced to wear a smile on their faces.
Great article and thank you for bringing awareness to this horrible issue that is affecting woman today and also in my opinion everyone that is involved. You know I have a 9 year old daughter and I think about what I would do all the time if someone abused her and I probably shouldn’t say here in a post but it would not be pleasant for the person who did it. My daughter will always be my baby no matter how old she gets and I will do my best to protect her the best I can too. I hope those who feel they don’t have support find the strength and support to get out of abusive relationships or abusive situations.
Vince, I wish more father’s would think this way.